astrid article

Growing up without

Growing up in middle class America, my parents always made sure we had what we needed. Not what we wanted but everything we needed. Overall we were very blessed to have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and always had food on the table. My father worked very hard to always provide for his family. But most importantly, we have two parents that love us. 

My father was a great example of a hard working man. He worked 50-60+ hours a week. He, to this day, believes that you must work for what you want. Nothing is ever given. One of the most valuable lessons my father taught me. Nothing in this life is free and unless you get up and work for it, you will never have. Now my dad believes that hard physical labor is the way to go. I on the other hand believe that money should work for you, not you for the money. But regardless of the route you take it takes discipline and work to achieve the ending Goal.  

Many of us grew up the same way. I think most millennials have this drive inside them that keeps them going. We know what hard work is. We watched our parents work so hard for all they gave us. But because of that and not always getting what we want, we have now set up the next generation to fail. We work hard to give our children more wants plus needs that we forget to teach them the value that was taught to us. 

Nothing in life is free. We are forgetting to remind our children that we work hard to get them all of their wants. We are forgetting to teach them that one day they will be the parents and they too must provide and set the next generation up for their success. 

I have placed similar rules to what I had growing up. Now I am the first to admit that I am more lenient than my mother was. I give my child more than one opportunity to get it right. A privilege that I did not have. But grades were how I earned all of what I wanted and now my son does the same. Good grades equal reward. But reading books also gets him rewards. Day to day chores don’t count. He has responsibilities such as washing dishes after he uses them, taking out the trash, doing his laundry and cleaning his room and bathroom are essential to his day to day living so those actions are not rewarded. By teaching him the difference he learns that some things in life are a must to live in a healthy clean environment while all the shiny big extras are just luxuries that are not needed to live. 

As much as we would love to make it easier for the next generation, the reality is that they still have to work for all the luxuries we have in life. We need to understand that the way we make it easier for them is to teach them what we were not taught. Leaving them full of knowledge not things. Is not what we leave to them but what we leave in them that will ensure generations after us succeed. 

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