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Growing up Different

Over the years I have taken notes of the way my family has been raised. From my household, my parents, aunts, cousins and now we are raising my nephews and nieces. I am the oldest and only girl in my house. I always knew that I was taught differently from my brothers. In a hispanic culture we always raise our girls to do household work. We grew up seeing our grandmothers, mothers, aunties and any other woman always in the kitchen doing laundry and all the cleaning. Most of the men in my family had one job and that was to provide. They went to work and that is it. Maybe on the weekends there was yard work to do but nothing inside the home.

 As far as I can remember the men also took care of the finances and gave “allowances’ ‘ to the wife for whatever the house needed. For food, cleaning supplies, personal care, or if the kids needed anything like clothes, shoes, or school items. I always grew up feeling unsupported. My father showed me basics like changing a tire or the oil in my car. But to this day I can not turn on a lawn mower because I have never had to. That was a man’s job. I did make it a priority to always make and have my own money because I knew that I did not want a man telling me what I can or can’t have. Looking at my female cousin I can say the same. All of them have their own income and I think that is because we all saw how generations before us struggled in that department. 

I never wanted to feel stuck because  I was not financially stable to take care of myself.  My mother also did a good job showing my brothers how to wash their own clothes and basic meals. But the main focus for the boys is to graduate and find a job that will pay enough to cover all bills. As long as they find that, the family supports them. Working is their main job. If they are blessed to have the opportunity to start a business they are helped, encouraged. But women are not. I have always felt that I had to beg for support. I was fortunate enough to have a trucking company in 2015. The comments like what do you do? You can make so much money why are you not growing? I know somebody that does it this way you don’t need to follow state regulations. I got it all the time. But I knew the same comments came because the doubt that I could actually run this company was high. I have always let that bother me but now as I get older I realize that I just can’t let anything get me down nor stop me. If everyone else has the right to go down the path they choose so should I. As women we need to stop asking for permission to be our authentic selves. We also need to get out of the “kitchen” and start getting involved in the everyday  financing, running of the household and making decisions that will affect our family. Even if the man is the breadwinner, demanding that we are involved is imperative. The decisions affect our kids and its facts that the women is the one that turns a house to a home. 

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